What to do with my life?

What's the Point of It All?

Okay, so the last time I posted I was talking about Africa. Well, surprise surprise I didn't actually do anything about my need to go to Africa. I feel like I'm running in circles sometimes, with no end in sight.  Don't get me wrong I know that education is important, but when I switched my major from Biology to Computer Science, I felt like I was giving up on my dream of becoming a doctor. Yeah, I know, I'm only 21 I can still go to med school and become the person I always wanted to be, but I feel like if I don't do it now then it may never happen. I'm working towards my bachelors degree in Computer Science, and while I'm good at computers and like that there is very little human interaction, I just don't feel the challenge or the drive to succeed that I did when I was working towards med school.  I know I'm complaining and I know that some kids don't even get the opportunity to go to school let alone college, but I still feel like it's all a waste of time. I mean, we're all going to die in the end anyway, right? So what's the point? That's the question that I have been asking myself for a while now, and nobody seems to have an answer for me. What is the point?  Do our best to go to heaven, for some, or become worm food, for others. If you're wondering, no I am not suicidal, I just wonder sometimes if it's worth it.  I don't really know where I stand on the issue of heaven or hell, well God in general, I'm in a sort of limbo when it comes to the issue of religion and I don't know if I will ever get out of it or if I'm destined to live life like this. Anybody have any sort of advice? 

NEW PUPPY

On a cheerier note, I just got a 6 month old brindle puppy and she is just the cutest thing you could imagine. I already love her to pieces and she has only been with us for two weeks. Our other dogs don't seem to mind her and our Terrier mix seems to love to play with her. 

Isn't she just the cutest thing!!?

She loves to sit on our laps and take a nap, I'm sure once she gets bigger she won't be able to do that, so we're enjoying it for now. 

Well, that's pretty much all that's been going on in my life. Until next time help your fellow man and become a better human being for generations to come.

Africa

Okay, I am going to try and keep this brief since I'm about to fall over from exhaustion.

I have been thinking a lot about Africa, and with the spare time I have over the summer I thought I should join a group that is going over to Africa to help.

I don't know what it is, I just know that I have this pull deep down in my soul, and it keeps telling me that I'm needed by someone over in Africa. I don't know who, it's just this feeling that I have that I need to be there. It's hard to explain, it's just pulling feeling that I have towards Africa.

I know in all reality I need to think about this some more before I go jumping into something I know nothing about. But, it's like I said before, I feel like someone needs me over there, and it's a very strong pull, and I don't know how much longer I can deny it.

I just had to type what I was feeling in this moment because I knew I would get sidetracked tomorrow and not be able to do this.

Thinking of all the children living in poverty over in Africa, it makes me want to burst into tears. So many children are orphaned because their parents died of AIDS and they couldn't get proper medical treatment. It just makes me so sad, and I feel a need to answer their call for help. I'm fighting back tears as I write this, because these children need someone to look out for them and take care of them and yet they are the head of the household. They are children taking care of children and it breaks my heart every time I think about it.

I'm going to help these children, because I can't imagine the life they will have without someone there to help them, even if it is just for a few weeks.

I keep telling people that once I graduate from Med school this is going to be my life's work. Helping these children and people in the poverty stricken areas of Africa. I want to make a difference in someones life. I figure the best place to start would be now. So, this summer I'm going to work with Dresses for Africa, which makes dresses for girls in Africa and have just recently started making shorts for the boys. So sewing all summer to help out a few children in Africa sounds like a good way to spend it in my opinion.

Thanks again for reading, if you do. I don't know. So, thanks.

Recent News

Now I figured I should touch base on some of the recent happenings in my life and in the world.

Now in my life, I am in the last week of school, and all I need to do is finish up finals and then I am free for the summer. My cousin is pregnant with her third child, and her baby daddy made a run for the hills. My puppy is growing bigger everyday and I swear, you would think he wouldn't eat as much as he does considering his size. I'm also working on making some jewelry, which is awesome. It's going to be amazing. My mother and I are also thinking of taking a vacation, where I'm not sure. If you have any suggestions feel free to pop some out.

In recent news, Prince William and Catherine Middleton became man and wife on April 29th, and the new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Prince Harry is still single, as far as I know anyway, so if anyone who know me, knows him feel free to give him my number.

So I just thought I would touch base on some important issues that happened over the past month or so, and hope that you all are leading productive lives and not reading this.

March 2, 2011

Now, I know that my blogs have no real focus, except maybe for whining every once in a while. So I figured I should probably find something that I either know a lot about or am passionate about so that these can have some focus.

Okay so I figured that I could start with animal adoption. It is something that I strongly believe in and that I think that all people should do.

This is something that is very close to my heart. All of my animals, except for one, was adopted. I have 3 dogs and 4 cats. My beagle-mix, and terrier-mix were adopted from various organizations, and unfortunately my toy poodle was bought from a pet store, which I do not recommend. 3 of my cats were strays and 1 I got from the neighbor when they weren't taking care of him. Unfortunately that is all too common in the US and other countries. People adopt animals and expect them to just take care of themselves, but the reality is that the domesticated animal depends on us for food, water, and shelter. When you adopt an animal you are taking a precious life into your home.

Now I think I've made you all guilty enough. Now let's just hope you heed my advice and only take an animal into your home if your willing to take care of it.

Now above is my new dog Barney. Isn't he just the cutest thing ever!:)

I couldn't figure out how to add this photo to my previous post. So here is another one. This is my cat Sam. Isn't he adorable? His face is so squishy. He loves to sleep on my bed. Well, hope this cheers up the previous post a bit, and I made my background a little cheerier.

I Know Nobody Reads This

I know nobody reads my blog, but for some reason it makes me feel better, just knowing that my feelings and thoughts are out there. In this blog I'm able to explain my thought process in a way that makes sense, well at least to me. Being able to express myself, even if nobody reads, it makes me feel less insignificant. It's just my mother and I know, so I get lonely. Yeah, I have friends, but it's not the same. Yeah, I have animals, but they can't talk back. I miss the one person who understood me. If you've read my blog before, you may or may not know, that my dad died when I was 14. It was two days after Christmas, some Christmas present. It's been five years since he died, and it feels like it's been a lifetime. It's hard to deal with when I see young girls take advantage of the fact that they have a dad. They don't realize who short that time can be, and it hurts knowing that I'm never going to see my dad again. I'm not an overly religious person, and the heaven and hell issue for me is still a bit sketchy, but I got that from my dad. If there was a heaven I'm sure he's there, but in all honesty, I think he's six feet under becoming worm food, which I even have to admit is not a pleasant thought.

This past year was an especially hard one, because I lost another important person in my life. My grandmother (my dad's mother) died of lung cancer in April of 2010. It was one of the hardest things I've had to go through since my dad past. Oh and by the way, to top it off my other grandmother tells my mom and I that she has lung cancer. Now, I myself am thinking, are you freaking kidding me? Is that really all life has to throw at me? I was hoping that the grandmother that died would live long enough to see me graduate, she missed it by mere weeks.

People I know have been getting cancer, and it just sucks. I feel somewhat cursed, like it's my fault that they are ending up the way they are.

I know you don't care, but I am currently watching jewelry television and they are selling pearls, and they are just beautiful. I know they are cultured but they are still pretty.

Now I know nobody reads this, but hey if someone should come across my blog, please just take some time to read it, and maybe you can give me some feedback on how to deal with the death that seems to be surrounding me. Well, if you aren't sufficiently depressed I don't think I did my job. Oh, and by the way, it's that time of the month, so I am very emotional.

Sorry:)

I feel horrible that I haven't blogged at all, even when I said I was going to. Anyway this is me blogging a little late in the evening if you all are wondering. I am just sitting here surfing the Internet and I am excited that I have this entire next week off from school. It is amazing, and I'm going to get a tattoo sometime this week. I need to call and set up my appointment and see when I can come in and get it done. I'll post a pic later this week after I get it done, hopefully it will be done quickly. Okay, so I am exhausted. I went out to the park today with my dog, Gigi, and she was a pain in the butt. She did well with most of the dogs there, but there were a couple that she had problems with and that concerns me. Right now, I'm looking at her and she is just conked out. I swear, that walking wore her out. I was kind of disappointed that the chiefs didn't win today, but that's okay there is always next week. My little kitty cat Sammy is sleeping on my bed next to me right now, and he is the cutest thing I have ever seen. So, that is mostly what I have been up to today, and what I plan on doing this week. Hopefully, someone will read this blog, if not it's for my own record.